Happy New Year everyone! Hope this year brings you lots of health, happiness and blessings. Nouman and I were going to go downtown to Nathan Phillips Square to celebrate, but we felt bad because my brother-in-law would have been alone. Instead, we called over all of Nouman’s cousins and had a movie-night in.
I’m going to be honest, I was VERY anxious about the day after the rukhsati. It’s one thing to meet Nouman’s family at dawats but it is a completely new feeling to be part of someones family suddenly. I had around a million questions in my head:
- What time should we go upstairs?
- What will I wear?
- How dressed up should I be?
- Where would I sit once I was upstairs? If the kids separate, should I sit with the adults or the cousins?
- Would Nouman be with me?
- What do I SAY?
All these thoughts, even though I had known Nouman’s family all my life, had been racing through my mind the entire week leading up to the wedding. As you know, I like to be prepared so I decided to choose the most conservative approach to everything. This is how it all played out:
- I wanted to wake up at a decent time but I know that Nouman likes to sleep in. Noon would be the latest we would go upstairs. Thankfully, we were both awake by 10am because of all the commotion upstairs. This gave us plenty of time to shower and get dressed.
- I lucked out with this one. My sister-in-law had told me that most likely Nouman’s mom would have something picked out for me but I had packed a semi-formal suit, just-in-case. After the rukhsati, Nouman’s mom showed me 3-4 suits that she had set aside for me so I wore one of those.
- I knew that Nouman’s family would want to see me wearing atleast some jewellery, as would mine when they brought breakfast. Hence, I wore 3 gold chooriyan on each hand, my wedding/engagement rings and a ring that Nouman’s dadi had given me the day before. Besides my foundation, I wore eyeliner, blush and lipgloss.
- 4,5,6 – It was surprisingly very easy to go with the flow. I was definitely nervous as Nouman and I walked upstairs. We came upstairs, said salaam and hugged everyone (we made Nouman hug everyone too) and then sat down on the couch. Everyone started talking and Nouman’s family made me feel completely at ease. Nouman sat with me the entire time and thankfully, nobody separated. Everyone was super sweet; the younger guy cousins continuously asked me if I needed/wanted anything and if I was okay, Nouman’s dadi told him to put food on my plate, Nouman’s mom asked me a few times if I wanted to go lie down/freshen up – the list is endless. Nouman was also very good Alhamdulilah – he made sure he was with me the entire time and he probably asked me if I was okay atleast 100 times. Truth be told, I did not talk nearly as much as I do because of my nerves
Overall, the day unfolded as below:
- We woke up, went back and forth exclaiming “OMG! We’re married!”, showered, dressed and went upstairs.
- My family was bringing brunch but the boys got hungry so everyone started munching on breakfast
- My family arrived around 1:30pm. I was super happy to see everyone but I was sad that my parents didn’t come. Apparently, the tradition is that the “young” cousins/females of the family take breakfast. I still don’t understand why. We chatted with everyone, had brunch, took pictures and then it was time for them to go back – all too soon! I showed all the mami’s and my sisters our living space in the basement and then they were off. I was definitely very sad and almost cried once the door closed. Nouman and his mom tried to console me and then thankfully we got distracted by his family.
- Once my family left, everyone went back to the family room and started sharing funny childhood stories.
- Nouman’s friends came over to complete his reception slideshow so we hung out with them upstairs. This was the first time that I had been around so many guys alone.
- The rest of the evening is a blur – Nouman’s entire family slept over and everyone was just hanging out and having a good time. I was nervous most of the evening but his family did a great job in including me for everything.